


XXI. A Drowning

by causeimdifferent



Series: Wanted [21]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Angst, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:34:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/causeimdifferent/pseuds/causeimdifferent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone needs to be saved.</p><p>At least Thomas thinks so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	XXI. A Drowning

“This is a bad idea”, Philip sounds decisive but his lips are pale.

Thomas wonders if his heart is stomping along so wildly just because he is looking at Philip and likes what he sees or because he senses his companion might be right.

“Don’t look at me like this”, Philip says.

“Why not?”

“It makes me want to shove you against that wall over there to kiss you so bloody hard you forget what’s what.”

Thomas grins despite his tension: “Excellent idea …”

“Friggin’ worse idea than us being here in the first place.”

 

They are standing just steps away from the front door of Kensington High Street 221 - home of the Earl of Clarence – protected from plain sight and the scorching midday sun by the shadow of a tree.

“I’ll simply knock at the door and demand to talk to him.”

“You absolutely won’t.” Philip’s voice is so sharp it makes Thomas flinch. “You promised me you not to do anything preconceived.”

“But I need to talk to him. He needs to know what he’s getting himself into here.”

“Do you really think, he doesn’t know?”

“Well, it is not unlikely, is it?”

Philip snorts.

“Some golden hair doesn’t make an angel, Thomas. You really are idealizing him.”

  
They could have thought of a plan during their brisk march that led them here. But Thomas’s mind had been way too blurry and Philip had been way too busy trying to hold him back.

“Thomas, you can’t just waltz in there. You’ll make a fool of yourself and cause more harm than good. Let’s go to my place, to think this through and for some … recreation.”

Thomas wipes the sweat from his forehead: “Sounds very tempting. But I won’t leave before I haven’t at least tried to get him out of there.”

Philip draws a deep breath, his forehead crinkled: “All right, I’ll go get him then. Edward knows me, and even if I am not welcome, they will let me in. I have not forgotten how to charm and play people – especially if my lover’s happiness is depending on it.”

Muted by sudden mental fog Thomas watches Philip walk towards the staircase leading to the front door of the townhouse. “You stay put, I won’t return without him”, Philip says, turning round, with this innate confidence of his which used to make Thomas seethe with envy. Even in the lowest gutter this Philip will never lose.

Lithely Philip jumps up the stairs like a suitor about to pick up his lady sporting perfect buttocks, putting Thomas into a fleeting trance.

Before he vanishes indoors, leaving Thomas waiting, his heart pounding dully in his throat.

 

After 10 tenacious minutes, Thomas remembers the virtues of cigarettes and is just about to light his first one as the door opens again.

He doesn’t even realize the cigarette falling from his lips.

_Damn, you look smart in that valet’s attire._

Jimmy’s hair shines golden in the sun and Thomas wonders for the fraction of a second where his wings are so much does he look like an angel. Despite the scowl on his face.

Philip’s hand on his shoulder, almost pushing him towards Thomas.

_You fucking amazing bastard made it happen indeed._

“Jimmy”, Thomas throat is scratchy with sudden dryness, as they stand face to face at last. A good four feet of safety distance between them. Jimmy folding his arms across his chest.

“I’ll leave you to it”, Philip says, touching Thomas’s elbow reassuringly. For a moment his eyes lock with Thomas’s.

Warm with love.

Weary with fear.

_I love you._

 

“You are so perfect together it makes me want to throw up”, Jimmy gripes as Philip has gone.

“Jimmy”, Thomas says and cringes at the urgency in his voice, “this position here is a very bad idea.”

“I’m valet to an Earl. So I don’t think so.” Jimmy snaps. “More than you could've ever dreamt of at my age, if I recall correctly.”

“Valeting for this man doesn’t just mean getting him in and out of his clothes!”

Jimmy bites down and Thomas can literally see his brain taking in the innuendo.

_So you didn’t know. And he hasn’t tried anything yet._

A second later Jimmy has regained his composure.

“So what. I make twice the money here that I made before.”

“Don’t be such a bloody idiot”, Thomas hisses. “You have no idea what you are getting yourself into.”

The air of an abandoned child sweeps across Jimmy’s face and Thomas is tempted to knock him unconscious to simply abduct him.

“We will find you another position, I’m sure. Philip may not be welcome in the High Society anymore, but he still knows a lot of people …”

Thomas has to bite his tongue to prevent himself from pleading.

 

_“There’s good news, and there’s bad news”, Philip had said, when they had met at the entrance of the Polo Club an hour ago. “The good news is, he’s valet to an Earl. The bad news is, that Earl is the Earl of Clarence.”_

_“What about him?” Thomas had pressed almost shaking with anxiety._

_Philip had sighed. “Promise me not to lose it if I tell you.”_

_Thomas broke his promise just seconds later._

 

Jimmy just tries to play it cool. Thomas knows the signs. He _is_ shaken.

But not enough.

“The last thing I’m keen on is the charity of your bloody lover.”

“It’s just, Jimmy, if all else fails, I’m sure he’ll help you out.”

Jimmy cracks an ugly laugh: “Yes, right, Thomas. I’d rather die than knock at his door.”

“The season is over in a week, I … please Jimmy, I can’t leave without knowing you’re in a good place.”

Thomas braces himself for another scathing rebuke but Jimmy just looks away.

“I have to go now, Thomas”, he says quietly.

“You can get in touch with him via the Asquith Polo Club any day. Just leave him a message”, Thomas calls after him, sounding desperate instead of decisive. “And of course you can call me anytime. It’s just he’s way more handy here in London than I am back at Downton.”

Even after the door has closed behind Jimmy, Thomas stands incapacitated. By his utter failure of keeping Jimmy from returning to the lion’s den.

 

As Thomas walks back to Grantham House numbness molds his body into the posture of defeat. Briefly the thought of discrediting Jimmy to get him sacked lingers.

Before a thick veil of denial settles upon Thomas brain, keeping images of that Earl getting his hands on Jimmy at bay.

Upon return to Grantham House Thomas’s mask is back in place. “Good news”, Thomas tells Carson, “Jimmy is valet to an Earl.” He tries to sound neutral and has to excuse himself quickly, not to fall to pieces yet again under Carson’s befuddled glance.

 

“I believe that was no help at all. You are even more wound up than before.” Philip sighs, as he holds Thomas in his arms that night. “You tried, darling, let go. You can’t keep him from learning his lessons. Even if they are devastating. You can’t keep him from harm, you can’t keep him from hurt, if he doesn’t cooperate. It is all part of growing up. Of being human, in fact. We both know it. All too well.”

_Exactly. That’s why I want to rescue him from it. At least a little bit._

“I had no idea you’ve turned into a philosopher”, Thomas snarls, snuggling closer into Philip’s chest, their naked bodies entangled under a thin sheet.

Philip’s kisses still lingering on Thomas’s skin.

“What did you tell him to get him out of the house to go see me.”

Philip shifts uneasily.

Thomas listens into the silent darkness of the summer night.

He senses the anxiety in Philip’s body more than he hears it in his voice: “I told him to bloody come talk to you, if he had any love for you left.”


End file.
